sackville-baggins: sackville-baggins: Maybe this time when I read Order of the Phoenix Sirius won’t die He died.
jinxley: “i will be grading this assignment for completeness not correctness”
adinasauce: circumcisions: do you ever have those days where you feel like a white person in an infomercial
have you ever seen a chicken strip There are two kinds of people in this world.
pooka-saurus: shining-vagina: carlyjespen: why can’t plane tickets be like 10 dollars why can’t concert tickets be like 10 dollars why can’t everything be like 10 dollars I’m not paying 10 dollars for a candy bar fuck you
halloweenpunk: i want to be able to say “???????????” in real life but all i can do is give this extremely expressive look of confusion and mild indignation
there’s no “we” in food get the fuck away from me
fffcuk: fuck boxes of chocolates that don’t have the template that tells you what’s inside of each one eating those chocolates is like playing minesweeper
verbosetherapy: I think you can tell a lot about a person by which death in Harry Potter hurt them the most.
NEED MONEY FOR COLLEGE NEED COLLEGE FOR JOB NEED JOB FOR MONEY WAHT WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS SYSTEM
alogically: cutting-cutting-cutting: avenue: do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else is fast asleep and just walk places and to be completely alone and entirely dedicated to your thoughts yeah but i’m scared of getting murdered this is so accurate
youdtearthiscanvasskinapart: It was not your ship but mine. And it was your OTP on the line. The writers fucked it up this time Didnt they my dear Didnt they my-
amazzingphil: dftbyay: typewriting-potato: knightofbowties: What if they made a Tumblr musical about a forbidden love affair between a hipster blogger and a fandom blogger. I WOULD WATCH THAT. “i can’t be with you because i can’t hold back the sherlock feels” weeps the fangirl, crumpled on the floor. the hipster boy clasps her hand and pulls out his watercolor brush. “i will try to...
hippy-daze: kripke-is-my-king: hahry: a venn diagram of the things george washington said not to do and the things america did would be a circle #washington sitting in the afterlife screaming ‘TWO THINGS AMERICA. I SAID TWO THINGS. #ISOLATIONISM. #NO POLITICAL PARTIES. #DID I STUTTER #DID I STUTTER MY ENTIRE FAREWELL ADDRESS #LINCOLN NEVER HAD TO PUT UP WITH THIS [via thecapn] ...
worldfamousprofessor: spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious” contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition? moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”
me: shh it's ok
archaeosaur: social anxiety is when successfully ordering a pizza over the phone makes you feel like a fucking champion